Don't Rain On My Parade...

I've come to the conclusion that you can never look completely cute when living in the place I live. The weather is soo unpredictable, so even when you try and dress for what the forecast is predicting, you always end up looking like a fool because it never matches what the sky decides to wear that day. Today, for example, I checked the forecast. It read 13 degrees, sunny and partly cloudy. I said to myself, okay. I can do this. It's too warm for my trenchcoat jacket, plus there were no signs of precipitation, but yet, too cold for a t-shirt. So, I put on a frilly white tee, rolled up jeans, a beret, jazz flats and a baggy flyaway sweater. I also didn't carry a bookbag because I only had one lecture today. Just a purse, my binder and my textbook. I get down the street, past the point of no return, when the rain decides to fall. I thought fast. Okay, I said. I have a super cute polka-dot umbrella that will fix this. Big mistake! Not only did it rain, it was WINDY, which evidently inverted my poor adorable umbrella. So here I am, waiting at the bus stop in the wind and rain, broken umbrella, book and binder getting soaked, trying to keep my hat on and freezing my butt off.

NOT cool.

So I have made a list of places which I want to move to in 2012 where I WON'T have this problem of unpredictable weather. Also, these places have better shopping and are more up-to-date on fashion and life in general:

1. Vancouver, BC
2. Montreal, QC
3. Ottawa, ON
4. Washington, DC
5. New York City, NY
6. Seattle, WA
7. Toronto, ON
8. Halifax, NS



mmmmmm. Vancouver :)

I think Hali is a joke, but it sure as hell is better than 'hurr.

So, on a broader and more serious topic, what to do with my life.

I know. It's random. But I've seriously been pondering this question to myself alot lately. I have a mere two years left in school which will fly by before my eyes, so I really have to start thinking about the areas which I want to work in.

I know I want to get married, have kids and all that funk, but there's other big goals I also want to set for myself. I really have a strong passion for philanthropy. I used to firmly believe it was a God-chosen calling on my life to work as a missionary in Southeastern Africa. I still wonder sometimes if I'm supposed to do that. My only problem is that I am poor. Missions work is EXPENSIVE. I feel that if I went on a "cheap" missions trips, which only lasts about 2 weeks or so, I wouldn't be able to accomplish much or make a huge impact over there in such a short period. I've thought of moving to life there permenantly, however, with standards of practice being different in every country, to legally work there, I'd basically have to earn my nursing degree all over again. I could go over there as an aid worker, but volunteer being the key word. I'm going to be in thousands of dollars of debt when I graduate from student loans, so I really need a paying job. It's not that I'm selfish or hate volunteering, but I need to make money or the government will be chasing after me.

I need to put a bit of "realism" to my dreams. I still have a strong passion and desire to work with the less fortunate. I can still tithe to the poor by working here in my own country. I can still reach out to the homeless where I am in my own city. There's plenty of it around, and growing up, we've all been too naive to realise. When we think of "mission work", we automatically think poor, starving people in Africa living in huts after a drought. But missions work can happen anywhere. There's always going to be people in need where ever you go. I feel like Vancouver would be a great place for me to work as a women's health or public health nurse. There's so much homelessness, poverty, prostitution, sexually transmitted diseases, and drug use.


There's so many people hurting in isolation right here and we are so blind to see it.

Maybe one of these days, God will send me to Africa if that is his will. But I have a strong desire right now to try and fix the problems that are going on within my own country so many people seem to ignore.

I must sound like a materialistic, superficial, pretentious princess sometimes with all the crap I get on with about fashion and my girly ways. But I really have a passion to help others too.

For my clinical last week, I was working at a soup kitchen-ish place. I met a girl who looked not much older than me. She was very pleasant and we had a grand chat. I noticed her looking at my clothes alot. She told me how much she loved my earrings. It broke my heart since I had only spent about 5 dollars on them and this poor girl, dressed in tattered and dated clothing, could hardly afford a meal for herself. I cannot imagine how low of a self-esteem she has, how much guilt she bears, and the kinds of horrific things she's experienced to bring her to where she is today.

I really want to change this.

I understand depression, I understand guilt, grief, sadness. I've experienced them, but I'm sure not to a fraction of what alot of people have.

God's gifted me with many talents and gifts. No, I cannot play sports. No, I am not good at math. No, I am not good at making people laugh (unless people are laughing at me), but I know God has gifted me.

I have an idea right now, something I want to do in my own city. I'll need a lot of support, but I know this can happen.