So, here I am. The finish line. My days in this degree are numbered. I am so close. There are so many unknowns. So many new things. So many adventures await me.
The last couple of months have been somewhat depressing. The job hunt isn't going as well as planned. I'm praying for better days.
God does His thing all in the right timing. I just have to be patient, I guess. It's so hard. I want and need money for so many things. I want to get myself situated and established. I'm in so much debt to the government in student loans, I don't even want to think about it. I'm working full-time, without gaining a dime in my pocket. I am so tired all the time, I just come home and go to bed. On my days off, I just want to sleep in until noon and drink on the weekends when I am off with the other depressed nurses. Very bad rut that I've gotten myself in.
Fortunately, I have found something which gives me a mere glimpse of hope.
I am going on a mission trip.
Yes. This summer. August 18-27, I will be going to the Haitian-Dominican border to do medical relief work as a volunteer nurse. This is probably one of the most exciting things that has ever happened to me since one of the main reasons why I did a degree in nursing was so that I could do missions work. Money has always been the main issue for me with going on these trips. But everything lined up right for me to go. My Dad told me that as a grad/birthday/Christmas gift, he would pay for me to go on a vacation somewhere. The rest of my class is going to Mexico on an all-inclusive resort for a week. I could have easily gone. But I'm so sick of wasting my money of frivolous and superficial things such as shopping and drinking. This would be so much more worthwhile.
I prayed to God, crying with pain. Why? God, why? Why do I feel this way? Why is this happening to me? I hate the floor I'm working on. I feel overworked, not paid or gratified enough for what I do. I have no job yet and I am in over my head in debt. I prayed so hard. And this opportunity came up for me to go away.
I will continue to pray more. As bleak as it seems, I know God is not going to fail me. He's allowed me to go into nursing for a reason. He's gotten me this far for a reason. He's going to take me to where I need to go next.
Just have to have a little faith.
:)
