Life

So this blog is really about nothing in particular, except for the fact that life can be unfair sometimes.

I think for the most part, I'm doing okay. I have a TON of friends, a great an supportive boyfriend who is going somewhere in life, a relatively good relationship with my parents and brother, pretty good grades, and motivation to be involved in my community. I guess I'm a pretty good public speaker, writer, singer, and I have a pretty good memory. I also think I'm a fairly nice person. I don't judge others, and I try to put the wants and needs of others first before my own.

I just think sometimes it's tough. My parents, particularly my mom, have such high expectations of me it can be a challenge to try and fullfill all these expectations. For those of you who don't know, yes, I still live at home, but I do pay my mom rent each month. I also pay for all my school fees, books, transportation, etc.. with the help of working in the summers and a student loan. It kind of sucks to pay to live in your own house, but I can think of alot people who have it more rough than me. My mom and dad help me out when they can, but for the most part, I'm financially independant. It's not exactly in my favor to be stuck with over 30 grand in student loans when I graduate, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

I know kids whose parents dish out everything for them. Driving school, school fees, books, rent, and even pay for their weddings. I think it's great, but at the end of the day, how do you really learn to be financially independant if you've got Mom and Dad covering your ass everytime for you?? How can you really grow up?

People wonder why I have so many clothes and makeup and am able to go on a trip once and a while. I save alot of my money, and as for clothes, I am reallyyyyy cheap.

Alot of people get this impression of me that I'm so stuck up and high maitenance. Well, the former is bull because I make an effort to befriend everyone. And the latter, let's just say I am one of the LOWEST maitenance people on the planet. I get my clothes for dirt, dirt cheap. I have so many clothes because I spend so little money on each individual item. I never go to the salon to get my hair done (I guess the beauty of having curly hair, no one can tell when you need a cut). I never get my nails done, or go tanning, eyebrow waxing, armpit waxing, bikini waxing or any of that crap. I don't own a car which decreases my expenses by ALOT. My boyfriend and I would rather do simple dates like making a home cooked dinner together and go for walks in the park than go to movies and fancy restaurants. I don't feel the need to have the latest and greatest technology. I've honestly had my 2GB ipod nano and shitbox of an Acer laptop since my first Christmas in university back in 2006, and it still works fine so that is good enough for me. I have a olympus digital camera which is simple but takes crisp, quality photos. No, it's not the one that Nigel Barker uses, but it does what I need it to do. I have a simple cell phone with only caller ID and unlimited texting, no internet. I have three winter coats. One ski jacket (for crazy winter storms and well, skiing / sledding), one heavy peacoat without a hood, and one semi-heavy peacoat with a hood. I have no pets and no children. I am not married. I do not own any real jewelery aside from a gold locket my grandmother gave me when I was born. I told my boyfriend that the only really jewelery I ever could want is an engagement ring when the time is right and that is IT. I don't wear perfume. I don't wear brand names, unless it's on sale.

I enjoy the simple pleasures of life. I'd also rather spend my money on more sensible and worthwhile things. I sponsor a child in Africa, who defintely needs the money more than I do. I want to invest in piano lessons. The beauty of music is something I hold very near and dear to my heart. If I had every material thing taken away from me and I was only able to keep two things, I'd keep my voice and my piano.

I used to have alot of insecurities growing up. One of them was my nose. I've had so many people over the years tell me my nose was big, and you know what, it probably is. But honestly, if I were to spend my time being insecure over something so superficial, that would be alot of quality time lost that could be spent doing something more important. If you don't like me because you think my nose is big, than I could care less to have you in my life. I have so many friends who accept me for who I am, so one measely bitch, meh. Doesn't mean a row of beans.

I have so many life goals. Alot of which has changed over the years, but the main ones:
1. Graduate from university
2. Eventually go to grad school
I want to do research on the effects of smoking on children and eventually try
to make it law so that smoking is illegal around a child under 16. I also want
to make first aid and CPR training part of the high school curriculum.
3. I've honestly considered law school and focus on health care policies and such
but that's a big maybe for the future. It's on my mind, but it's questionable
right now if I will actually go through with it or not.
4. Get married / Have kids, and if I can't have my own, adopt internationally.
There are so many children in parts of the world, who are born into such
unforunate conditions and need loving parents. Girls in particular are more at
risk. I know, it's a longgg way away yet before I'd consider doing this, but
I'd lovee to adopt a little girl. Maybe from Cambodia or Sub-Sahara Africa.

I've just been analysing my life and where I am right now compared to a few years back. I know my life has NOT been perfect, but from everything I've come out of, I think I'm doing okay. God has certainly blessed me more than I could ever imagine. I really think sometimes it's too much. But I've learned, with what I've been blessed with that I don't need, is to pass it on to someone else who does.

Anyway that is my end-of-year speal.

2010 is over, and new year of life for me is beginning. I want to make every moment count.

Happy Holidays!

Shirt: Joe Fresh
Skirt: H&M
Tights: outside printed pair - Forever 21
inside plain black pair - Primark
cupcake earrings (not visible): Wal-Mart

Merry Christmas everyone!

I haven't posted in a whilee and I certainly remember blogging that I'd do alot of fashion blogs, Christmas blogs and such. I'm super sorry. I've been busy with exams, Christmas prep, and overall, my health hasn't been the best, so I've been doing alot of chilling out in sweats for the past two weeks in front of the couch.

So, I finished my exams on the 13th of December. I was well enough to celebrate our academic success combined with Christmas with my nursing girls that night. I had some wine, but got really ill and had to go home a bit earlier than most. I did have a fun time though.

I went to my doctor on Thursday because I was having some abnormal cells showing up in my kidney and bladder and they weren't sure if it was cancerous. But because I've had so many prayers, I was cancer free! My doctor said I may need to undergo surgury in the future to take out some parts of my urinary tract affected by endometriosis, but for now and until I finish third year, I'm on a continuous flow of meds. My doctor said I should try and avoid alcohol, caffeine and foods high in soy. The first two, are irritants for my bladder and the latter, he says are estrogen-mimickers which basically feeds the endometriosis. Endo occurs basically as a result of excessive estrogen in the body, which I thought was a good thing for a girl, but I guess not.

I learned from all this to take my life very seriously. I used to it for granted that I could just get up and go whenever I pleased to do fun and exciting things with my friends. I just do now what I have energy for at the moment and try not to over-exert myself. I have to face the real possibility that I may be unable to have kids when I want to. I'm fortunate that Matthew is understanding that when we do get married, he wouldn't mind adopting kids if in the event we couldn't have any of our own.

I am certainly blessed with very supportive family and friends who are helping me deal with this potentially serious condition.

I attended an ugly sweater party, Carmie's birthday party, and then had my best ladies up on the 21st for secret santa. We had a potluck, made and decorated shortbread, and watching my favorite Christmas movie, "Love Actually".

My Christmas was probably by far, one of the best ones I've had in years. I love spending Christmas with my grandparents!

We drove out on the 23rd after Matthew left for the airport. My mom had actually turned back after getting on the TCH by CBS since there was so much wind causing the car to wobble. We went to the garage and got the problem fixed and were back on the road. It was basically like a hurricane driving out, but we made it, safe and sound.

My brother and I watched "Arthur's Perfect Christmas" on my laptop, as it is a huge tradition for us every year since we were kids.

Christmas Eve was spend relaxing. I watched "The Wizard of Oz" with Nan, and she at 73 could appreciate my love for old vintage films as it was the era she grew up in :) That evening, we visited my Uncle Cliff's and Aunt Doreen's, and my Aunt Bonnie's and Uncle Gerald's. We also had a sit down family dinner of fish and brewis, a traditional Christmas Eve dinner for my family. It was really lovely. My pop and I played piano most of the night after supper and sang Christmas carols, and the best part was watching "The Gaither's Christmas Special" on TV with Nan and Pop. My brother also watched the original "Grinch Who Stole Christmas" movie before we went to sleep.

So my list of favorite Christmas movies:

1. Love Actually
2. White Christmas
3. The cartoon version of "The Grinch"
3. Elf
4. Rudeolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
5. Santa Clause is Coming to Town
6. Stepmom
7. Prancer

The next morning, Christmas morning, we all got up at 730 and started opening gifts around 8am.

As a tradition, we always open our stockings together first. Some of the things I can remember of the top of my heads getting in my stocking include:
1. hand sanitizer
2. jolly ranger lip gloss
3. a hershey dark chocolate bar
4. gum
5. two fashion magazines (Flare and Lou Lou)
6. 50 dollars in Avalon Mall money
7. pens
8. chanel body spray
9. polka dot knee socks
10. chocolate liquer
11. a blue shower loofa puff
12. michael buble christmas cd

Then, after stockings, we opened all our gifts together.
Some of the gifts I got:
1. bathrobe (I lost my old one to Hurricane Igor when my basement flooded and my old bathrobe happened to be on the floor in front of the washer)
2. a long off-white knit scarf
3. handmade knit mittens from Posie's Row (off-white, brown, gold and orange)
4. a day pass to the spa at the monestary and "inception" dvd from matthew :)
5. a knit sweater with a million shades of purple from my nan
6. robin egg blue sheet set
7. earrings
8. more mall money
9. a computer cooler
10. hot pink and silver skates :) (my mom was evil and put them inside of a fryer pan box, so when I unwrapped it, I thought I was getting frying pans. Not impressed.)
can't remember what else, but it was alot

Anyways, we went to my aunt's for dinner and went to nan's afterwards and watched "Elf" together.

Last night, we had a Boxing Day games and movie night at Steph's. We played "Apples to Apples", "Scattergories", "Dutch Blitz" and watched "Clueless".

Today, I'm going to spend my Christmas gift cards :D

'Tis the season for an excuse to buy new clothes. As if I need an excuse!!

Haha.
Good by, lovelies.

Endometriosis

So after four months TO DATE of the stupid doctors thinking I had something wrong with my kidney and bladder, they have come up with a diagnosis. I have to have an ultrasound to comfirm it, but my family physician is very positive I have endometriosis. It sounds gross, but basically, the lining of your uterus, the endometrium, decides to "retrograde bleed" out of the uterus and into other surrounding area. Common places include the fallopean tubes, ovaries, bowels, bladder, even appendix. The doctor think I have it on my bladder. I have chronic pain allllll the time. I feel like my bladder is full alll the time when it isn't. And, the disgusting part about it is that I bleed from my bladder every month when I'm supposed to having my period.

The symptoms of intense pelvic pain, pressure, and what they call "hematuria" (blood in the urine), usually happens with a Urinary Tract Infection, very common in girls between the ages of 16 and 30. But when antibiotics weren't doing its job and I'd only have these problems once a month, the exact same time as my period, they knew something was wrong.

I'm kind of scared actually. Usually when endo is on your bladder, the only option to remove it is through surgury, a partial cytectomy, removing part of my bladder. Which would SUCK. I'd have to pee like every hour, since the size of my bladder would be alot smaller.

I'm also really scared since endometriosis is the major comtributor of infertility. It's estimated that 23-30% of people experiencing endometriosis have infertility.
THAT WOULD SUCK. I honestly think that might be worse than peeing all the time.

The good thing about endometriosis. It isn't life threatening. It's basically like a cancer that never kills you, but is a huge pain. It just grows and grows and attaches to organs, and bleeds and bleeds, and pains more and more, but no, you can't die from it.

The only option I have to completely get rid of it is a hysterectomy, removing my uterus, which I'm NOT doing. If I have a couple kiddies down the road and my uterus had done its purpose, I'd probably consider it then. What's the sense of it after you have kids anyway?

The causes of endo are unknown but they think there might be a genetic link, which would make perfect sense since my mom had a touch of it too. And as for infertility, well she had me! She did also have ectopic pregnancy, a complication of endo. But she had two kids, no sweat.

I best go back and trrryyy to study even though the pain makes it unbearable. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up overdosing on medication from this just to get through my exams. I REFUSE to ruin my Christmas studying and write them in January. Refuse, refuse!

I know I promised fashion blogs, but honestly between school work and me being sick, there hasn't been much time. I'll DEFINITELY do some other the holidays :)

Until then. Can someone say a huge prayer for me? I'm actually really scared for what's going to come out of this.

Thanks

-E