Better days?

Strangeflower, just in for another day.

Hopefully this one will be better than the last ones.
I've been trying to analyze myself to see if there is an explanation behind why it is I feel the way I feel. I've determined that it comes down to boredom. I need things to do to occupy my time. I am not one who is easily able to sit idle for long periods of time. I need some form of external stimulation. I met a friend yesterday over coffee and she lamented to me on similiar experiences she's had recently when there's been very little to do with her time.

I recently picked up scrapbooking as a means of occupying my time. I find this very therapeutic and relaxing. Also, reading books can be a helpful way to ease the negative thoughts in my mind.

Work, some may say, would be the best option. But I object to being on-call 24/7. I can never plan to do anything, and since I do not have access to a vehical, I have to up and run to find someone who is willing to bring me into work at that present moment. At least if I was scheduled to work, I could plan for people to give me rides.

I realize my strong need for structure and organization in my life. I cannot live in chaos and uncertainty. I realize that unscheduled events can without reason pop up. But those events do not happen on a regular day-to-day basis.

I would really like more than anything for summer to be over, and for me to be back in school. I am at my peak of happiness when I am learning. Even if school is stressful on times, I would much rather be busy with a healthy level of stress that comes with it as opposed to being completely bored and feeling useless.

Since I haven't been working much, I've been able to accumulate a fairly significant amount of money in my bank account. Saving up money has been the best thing I ever thought to do. I really makes me think about the useless material crap we all seemed to need, but when you get down to it, it's all a waste in the end.

I'm going to get up out of bed and hope for a better day.