Family

I know everyone thinks their own family is a bit strange and wonky. I know that's normal. And you spend your time consuming your head with the notion that all other families are more perfect than yours, when alot of the time, they are thinking they are the ones that are strange and wonky and consider your family normal.

I love my family. I really do. Sometimes I wish things ran a bit differently, though. But when I think of all the things that are screwed up in my own family, I use this as an opportunity to make a mental note of what to avoid when I have a family of my own someday.

Maybe it's because I have two-two family. If you ever have read the "Babysitter's Little Sister" series of books in the '90's then you probably know what I'm implying to when I say "two-two". The main character Karen grows up with divorced parents and adapts to living in a world of duplicates - two bedrooms, two Christmases, two Easter dinners, two birthday suppers. Two of everything. It's not as bad now as it was when my brother and I were younger. Now, we just pick one place where we want to spend Christmas or birthdays and that's that. No fuss involved. But as easy as it is now, I wonder how complicating this may get as I grow older.

I convocate next year and I only receive three tickets for my grad dinner and dance. Usually, for most people, those tickets are for the dad, mom and a date (boyfriend, husband, etc..). But I have no idea how that is going to work as my parents have absolutely no communication with one another. I obviously want both my parents there, but just not at the same table.

What about when I get married? My parents aren't overly thriller over the idea of it anyway. I'm pretty sure they want me to invest in a house with someone and live in a domestic partnership forever until I want to have kids (because wanting to have kids is the only reason to get married, apparently?) instead of spending money on a wedding. I understand some of their logic, but at the same time, a part of me feels like they are both bitter towards the idea of marriage because of their own unsuccessful marriage. I do realize, yes, some people really go too far with the overly elaborate weddings these days. But there is a way to come to a happy-medium and spend for a stunning yet simple and affordable wedding. I have a funny feeling I'm going be paying for my own wedding, every bit of it, without my parents' support. Not that I would ever ask, but I see so many people getting married these days, the parents ever so happy and giving them so much emotional, and if needed, financial support. I have my doubts I'll be getting either of it.

It would be so awkward to have both my parents at my wedding, anyway. Usually, the bride's parents sit together. I'd be lucky if you got both of my parents to even attend the reception at the same time.

Most all of my friends come from homes with both parents living under the same roof and ask me if I find it hard having parents that are divorced. To be honest, I've never even thought about it. My parents have been divorced for so long, it's just something I've gotten used to. As much as I would give anything in the world to have two loving parents under the same roof, I would much rather them living happily in separate houses with no fighting, bickering or harsh words.

I know that even while my family situation hasn't been the greatest on times, God's surely made up for it by blessing me with wonderful friends. I honestly don't know what I'd do without them.

All I can say to those of you with un-divorced parents - cherish it. I say this not out of jealousy, but as words of wisdom. Cherish those moments you have with your whole family together. The family dinners, the Christmas mornings, the sitting together at church, the vacations, and the birthdays. Please, cherish them. It absolutely breaks my heart to hear young people with wonderful families complain about having to get together for dinners and special occasions. You never know what can happen. Take the time to appreciate your family each day.

While I find it rough growing up in a so-called "broken home" (I really hate that term), I still take the opportunity to thank God for my parents. Even while divorced, they are still and always will be my parents. I couldn't have gotten this far without them :)